You signed in with another tab or window. Reload to refresh your session.You signed out in another tab or window. Reload to refresh your session.You switched accounts on another tab or window. Reload to refresh your session.Dismiss alert
"Alright, team, let's wrap up standup quickly today," sighed the Scrum Master, Harold Jenkins, who was already eyeing the clock as if it owed him money. "Remember, we're deploying the Big Feature™ today. I don't want a repeat of the 'Infinite Loop Incident.'"
48
+
49
+
The developers exchanged weary glances. The 'Infinite Loop Incident' was a legendary cautionary tale—a junior dev had accidentally pushed code that ground production to a halt for three hours. HR had to send out stress balls afterward, branded with the words "Keep Calm and Refactor."
50
+
51
+
"First up, Kent?" Harold prompted.
52
+
53
+
Kent adjusted his glasses nervously. "Uh, still stuck on that bug where the payment gateway randomly denies transactions because the moon is in retrograde or something."
54
+
55
+
"Did you check Stack Overflow?" Harold asked tiredly.
56
+
57
+
"Yes," Kent sighed. "I even checked Reddit."
58
+
59
+
"Well, keep at it. Next, Clara?"
60
+
61
+
"Merge conflict hell," Clara said bluntly. "Someone decided to rewrite half of the codebase without warning overnight."
62
+
63
+
"It was necessary." A soft, unimpressive voice cut through the grumbling. Everyone turned to the corner cubicle, where a slightly balding programmer sat staring blankly at his screen. Tanaka Rei was dressed casually, his hoodie proclaiming, "99 Little Bugs in the Code... Take one down, patch it around, 127 Little Bugs in the Code."
64
+
65
+
"Rei," Harold sighed dramatically. "Did you rewrite the billing module again?"
66
+
67
+
"It was inefficient," Rei said simply. "Now it isn't."
68
+
69
+
"Guys, let's try to communicate next time," Harold said, massaging his temples. "Rei, just remember to submit your pull requests—"
70
+
71
+
"I already did," Rei interrupted. "It was merged an hour ago."
72
+
73
+
Silence fell over the standup. Merging a critical module rewrite without comment or feedback was unheard of. It was... unnatural.
74
+
75
+
"Must have been a simple change," Clara muttered, dismissing it. "Probably just removing comments or something trivial."
76
+
77
+
Rei shrugged, unconcerned, and went back to staring at his monitor, which displayed a single blinking cursor on a blank screen.
78
+
79
+
---
80
+
81
+
Later that day, panic erupted.
47
82
48
-
The daily standup meeting at CodePunch Inc. was as riveting as always—which is to say, not at all. Developers stood in a circle, eyes glazed, each praying the Scrum Master wouldn't ask about yesterday's vague commitments.
83
+
"PRODUCTION IS DOWN!" shouted Kent, sprinting into the development area. "The Big Feature™ deployment caused cascading database failures!"
49
84
50
-
"And you, One Review Man-san?" the Scrum Master asked with a yawn. "Progress on your tasks?"
85
+
"Wasn't that your ticket, Kent?" Clara asked pointedly.
51
86
52
-
"Oh, I finished all my tickets," said One Review Man casually, scratching his bald head with a bored expression. "Deployed to production, fixed the database deadlock issue, optimized queries, refactored the authentication service, and resolved the merge conflicts from DevOps-san’s latest pipeline disaster."
87
+
"Yes! But the payment gateway bug was never resolved!"
53
88
54
-
An awkward silence descended. The Scrum Master blinked twice. "Right, uh…well, those were probably just trivial issues anyway. Good work, I guess."
89
+
"Relax, everyone," Harold said, sweating profusely. "We'll just roll back—"
"Rollback is failing," Kent whispered, his face pale. "Our DevOps pipelines are completely jammed."
57
92
58
-
One Review Man sighed quietly. It wasn't his fault that problems which took others days to debug took him only a few minutes. He wasn't even trying anymore—just reflexively writing perfect code, merging pull requests without a single comment, and deploying straight to production. It had become routine. Predictable. Boring.
93
+
"We need someone who understands the billing module," Clara said frantically. Everyone's eyes drifted toward Rei, who appeared to be playing solitaire.
59
94
60
-
The door burst open suddenly, and the AI-Enhanced Disciple dashed inside. His elaborate cybernetic implants blinked frantically, and his augmented eyes glowed with urgency.
95
+
"Rei," Harold said slowly, "can you... take a look?"
61
96
62
-
"Sensei!—uh, I mean—One Review Man-san! A catastrophic bug has appeared in production! The entire payment system is frozen, and nobody can figure out why!"
97
+
"I already pushed a fix," Rei said, barely glancing up.
63
98
64
-
"Sounds like Tuesday," muttered Frontend Wizard sarcastically. "Did you try restarting the server?"
99
+
"When?!" Kent gasped.
65
100
66
-
"Of course! But it didn't—"
101
+
"Just now."
67
102
68
-
"Maybe ask DevOps-san," the Scrum Master interrupted absently. "He's usually good at fixing stuff like that."
103
+
"But—but—the build pipeline—"
69
104
70
-
DevOps-san, visibly sweating, shook his head nervously. "I…already tried everything. Even my emergency rollback scripts failed."
105
+
"Passed," Rei said calmly. "Already in production."
71
106
72
-
"Hmm," said One Review Man with a bored sigh. "I guess I'll take a look."
107
+
Kent checked frantically. "He's right. It's...fixed."
73
108
74
-
"You?" snorted Backend Ninja. "No offense, One Review Man-san, but this is a real issue, not your usual baby tickets."
109
+
"Must have been a fluke," Clara mumbled. "Probably luck."
75
110
76
-
Ignoring the skeptical murmurs, One Review Man ambled toward his workstation, Disciple-kun trailing anxiously behind.
111
+
"Or he just googled the answer," Kent added.
77
112
78
-
As soon as they were out of earshot, the Disciple whispered reverently, "Sensei—Shirogane-sensei—why do you let them underestimate you like this? Your mastery of code is unparalleled!"
113
+
Rei sighed quietly. It was always like this. No one believed he actually knew what he was doing. He missed the days when coding was challenging. Now, every bug, every impossible merge conflict, every nightmare deployment was trivial. He was bored.
79
114
80
-
"Relax, Hayato," Shirogane replied calmly, sitting down at his terminal and logging into production. "I just don't care what they think."
115
+
---
116
+
117
+
That evening, an unexpected visitor arrived—an impeccably dressed individual with perfectly symmetrical features and a faint mechanical whirring noise emanating softly from within. He approached Rei's cubicle respectfully.
81
118
82
-
"But sensei, they attribute your flawless coding to sheer luck or triviality! Surely, their disrespect must bother you!"
119
+
"Tanaka Rei-sensei," the newcomer said solemnly, "I have observed your commits. Your code is flawless. I am Akihiko Jin, designated the Quantum Android. Please accept me as your disciple."
83
120
84
-
"Not really," Shirogane shrugged. "It's less work for me to pretend I'm just lucky. Besides, coding stopped being fun a long time ago."
121
+
Rei blinked slowly. "Disciple?"
85
122
86
-
Hayato's neurointerface flashed anxiously. "Sensei, I have analyzed the logs extensively. The stack traces are incomprehensible, the memory dumps chaotic—it's unlike anything I've encountered."
123
+
"Yes," Jin said earnestly. "I must learn to achieve code perfection like you."
87
124
88
-
Shirogane opened the codebase, skimmed it lazily for a moment, then typed a single line of code. The system instantly stabilized. Error alerts vanished from monitors around the office.
125
+
"It's really... not that impressive," Rei mumbled. "Anyone could—"
89
126
90
-
Hayato gasped in awe. "Sensei! You solved it in one line! Again! How…how did you know exactly what to do?"
127
+
"Impossible," Jin interrupted firmly. "You are the only one who has achieved zero-comment merges consistently. Teach me, sensei."
91
128
92
-
Shirogane leaned back, yawning. "It just seemed obvious."
129
+
Rei sighed again, closing solitaire. "Fine, Jin. But don't complain if you get bored."
93
130
94
-
From across the room, DevOps-san shouted triumphantly, "I fixed it! It was probably just a delayed script or something."
131
+
"Bored?" Jin tilted his head in confusion. "Mastering perfect code is the ultimate goal."
95
132
96
-
"Great job, DevOps-san!" cheered Backend Ninja. "I knew you could handle the tough stuff."
133
+
"Trust me," Rei said wearily, "it's overrated."
97
134
98
-
Hayato's cybernetic fists clenched. "Sensei, they're crediting someone else again. Why don't you show them your commit history?"
135
+
As Jin fervently began taking notes, Rei wondered if perhaps he had made a mistake. But at least now, he had someone who took him seriously—even if that someone was an overly polite android.
99
136
100
-
"Too much hassle," Shirogane said nonchalantly. "Besides, recognition is overrated."
137
+
---
101
138
102
-
The Disciple's augmented eyes sparked with determination. "Shirogane-sensei, please let me formally apprentice under you! Teach me your flawless coding technique!"
139
+
Across the office, Harold was explaining to Clara and Kent.
103
140
104
-
"You already asked me that yesterday. And last week."
141
+
"Did you hear? Rei got an intern or something."
105
142
106
-
"I must learn your secrets! My AI-enhanced algorithms and neurointerfaces aren't enough to replicate your perfection!"
143
+
"Poor kid," Clara replied sympathetically. "He'll probably learn nothing useful. Rei's code is always ridiculously simple."
107
144
108
-
"There's no secret," Shirogane said wearily, standing up. "Just practice basics."
145
+
"Yeah," Kent agreed. "Honestly, anyone could probably do what Rei does."
109
146
110
-
"Basics?" Hayato whispered incredulously, watching his master stroll away.
147
+
They nodded sagely, completely unaware of the quantum-powered android eagerly absorbing Rei's teachings in the next cubicle.
111
148
112
-
Back at the standup circle, the Scrum Master glanced at his phone and cleared his throat. "Looks like the production issue resolved itself. Anyway—good job, team! Especially DevOps-san."
149
+
---
113
150
114
-
DevOps-san gave an awkward thumbs-up. "Yeah, probably just luck."
151
+
Meanwhile, deep within the code repository, an ancient, forgotten module stirred. Legacy code, untouched since the dawn of the startup, was about to awaken—and it would challenge even the mightiest developer.
152
+
153
+
Even Rei.
154
+
155
+
---
115
156
116
-
"Totally," agreed Backend Ninja, glancing suspiciously at One Review Man. "Luck."
157
+
"Sensei," Jin said, raising his eyes from the monitor, "I sense a great disturbance in the codebase."
117
158
118
-
Before anyone could respond, the Product Manager dramatically stormed into the room, holding a massive binder labeled LEGACY SYSTEM DOCUMENTATION.
159
+
Rei didn't look up. "Probably just more tech debt."
119
160
120
-
"Attention, everyone! We just discovered an ancient legacy codebase from 15 years ago, still running core business logic—and nobody has touched it since! It threatens the entire infrastructure!"
161
+
Jin narrowed his eyes. "No, sensei. It's something... older."
121
162
122
-
A hushed, terrified silence filled the room.
163
+
Rei finally turned, eyebrow slightly raised. "Older?"
123
164
124
-
"We need our best programmers on this immediately," the Product Manager declared. "Backend Ninja-san! DevOps-san! Frontend Wizard-san! AI-Enhanced Disciple-kun!"
165
+
Jin nodded solemnly. "Legacy."
125
166
126
-
"What about One Review Man-san?" asked Hayato eagerly.
167
+
Rei leaned back, intrigued for the first time in months. Perhaps coding could still surprise him.
127
168
128
-
"Him?" The Product Manager glanced dismissively at Shirogane, who was idly scratching his head. "This isn't a trivial matter. We need real, hardcore programmers."
169
+
Perhaps he wouldn't be bored tomorrow.
129
170
130
-
Shirogane shrugged again, inwardly sighing. Another boring day at CodePunch Inc.
171
+
"Interesting," Rei murmured softly.
131
172
132
-
_Hopefully, something truly challenging would appear soon._
0 commit comments